But Alhumdulilla, (thanks to Allah), we're still home edding!!
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Where to begin? Picture in your mind the conversations between small boy and his mother:
5 year old boy: Mummy, I don't want to got to school
Mother: Why not sweetheart?
5 year old boy: I don't want to go mummy, I don't like it.
Mother: But you DO like it! you like your lovely teacher? Yes? and Philip and Ashley, and Sabih to play with? don't you?
5 year old boy: yeeees, ( SLOWLY!!) I suppose so.
Mother: And your teacher says you are doing so well!
5 year old boy: Yes mummy.
months later:
5 year old boy: I don't want to go to school Mummy
Mother: Why not sweetheart?
5 year old boy: I don't like it
Mother: What don't you like?
5 year old boy: I don't like it. Can I stay home with you?
Mother: I won't be at home habibi, mummy's going to work.
5 year old boy: Do you have to work mummy?
Mother: yes sweetheart, daddy can't pay all the bills alone.
5 year old boy: Tracey stays at home, why doesn't she work?
Mother: She does work!! I pay her to look after you! Until I can come home
5 year old boy: Well if you didn't pay her you'd have more money and you could stay
home.
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Where next?
I agreed to write an article to try and explain how I came to the decision of home educating, 'trying' being the operative word!! However, once I starting writing this article I realised that there were just too too many reasons and issues in that decision for me to simply putdown that it was a , b, and c, that's it, I went down the Home Education road. For my decision to make sense to me I had to backtrack to find what it was about the education I had received that I objected to, the followingis the result of that process.
I agreed to write an article to try and explain how I came to the decision of home educating, 'trying' being the operative word!! However, once I starting writing this article I realised that there were just too too many reasons and issues in that decision for me to simply putdown that it was a , b, and c, that's it, I went down the Home Education road. For my decision to make sense to me I had to backtrack to find what it was about the education I had received that I objected to, the followingis the result of that process.
Each one of us is, to some extent, a product of our past experiences, some then decide not to continue with a certain course but choose anotherpath, a path that may suit them better and hopefully be more fulfilling from many different angles. Personally, I am definitely a 'successful' product of the state: I went to school, got my 'O' levels C.S.E's I went to college and got my ' A' levels, I went to university and got my degree, B.Sc. joint honours in Mathematics and Education, and I got my Cert. Edu. then what ? I went to work as a teacher , full of committment and the joy of learning/teaching.
Now, this list of 'success' is not being thrown away, it is not being dismissed as worthless or worse, alhumdulilla for all that we are given from Allah. But it is being placed on the back seat as it should have been PART of my life as a muslimah, and there are obviously different issues in between eg. mixing/staying from home etc. but even given the ideal Islamic conditions, even then, this list should have only been PART of my person, of who I am. Somewhere in that list I lost out. What did I lose? ''I went to school, got my 'O' levels and C.S.E's'' I lost out on an Islamic environment, I lost out on being accepted for who I really was, a muslim girl looking forward to being a muslim, nothing more! I lost out every time there were anti-Islam and anti-brown/black comments and actions, I lost out every time my teachers looked at me pityingly with the thought, that was sometimes voiced ''poor girl, so bright, but will she ever make it?'' . I lost out every time a hijabed muslim girl was labelled as 'oppressed' or worse, labelled as illiterate or incapable of learning or worse.
My first day at secondary school will always remain with me. I had worn the uniform but not a knee length skirt, a pair of trousers instead. The deputy head took me for a walk round the school while she suggested I bring a skirt with me to school in my bag, change once in school and only put the trousers back on when it was home time. She also stressed there would be no need for my parents to know! 5 years later, as my O levels approached, the new headmaster called me into his offfice to say that as I was not willing to join the school community in dress, then perhaphs I shouldn't bother returning for the 6th form, as once I turned 16 he was under no legal obligation to keep me on. As an adult I have been taught the same lesson, so long as you agree with the school community then you may be a part of it. If you have your own views or choose to differ then you are not welcome.
My eldest son had singing on his timetable, which I didn't pay too much attention to, (duh!!). It turned out to be hymn singing. Assembly turned out to be prayer to a specific faith and specific idea of God. I withdrew him from both to receive from the head an astonished ''I have been Head here for 20 years and had Moslems go through before, no one has ever asked for anything before!''). ( to be fair he did come round to the idea of a free room for lunch time salah, no communal showers after swimming, swimming dress will cover navel to knee but by then I felt like I had at 16 standing in the heads office, not 'fitting in'!)
''I went to college and got my ' A' levels'': again I lost out on the Islamic lifestyle, the Islamic society and the Juma get together, helped for a while. but by now I had learned success was exams, success was heading off to university, success was career. What I should have been learning was Islamic position of women and motherhood. What I should have been learning was to fight for my rights. My view of Islam was the mad muslims who were fundamentalists and extremisists and the 'normal' muslims like us who prayed salah and read Quran, went to haj if they could, and apart from that generally fitted into a modern lifestyle. I lost out on the bigger picture, the UMMAH and my responsibility to it. I lost out for my future children, who would be nannied and bottlefed and carted around to carers whilst mummy pursued this wonderful career, where she had 'real' resposibility and 'real' reward of money.
''I went to university and got my degree'' Ironically it was at university that i first learned more about Islam! Alhumdullila it was here that my belief and faith strengthened and ' trust in Allah' and 'ask for help from Allah' were daily thoughts and emotions. Unfortunately, the lack of self esteem regarding women's position in Islam and motherhood in Islam did not shift till much later, I never learnt the true facts till much later through reading and research, of what Islam actually says regarding them, and what Islam also requires from mothers. For various reasons uni. was a difficult stressful time, often alone, mostly ostracized, but Islamically it was salvation! it turned my mind to Allah SWT, and a desperate desire to visit Makka and Medina.
Family life is of the utmost importance, Islam places a very heavy emphasis on it for that reason. A friend of mine uses the motto 'children learn what they live' from the poem by D L Nolte, Society of Childhood Education. Many children today who are 'state' children and I know from my own 'state' childhood we learn very little about the Deen, we are constantly bombarded with the rotten eggs of the muslim world whilst at the same time being told how wonderful the 'civilised' world is and how much they have achieved because of their civilisation. There are some wondeful articles about which show how childrens minds are bullied into viewing Islam in the worst possible light and the rest in the best possible light!!
Following university I went to teach in Jeddah, staying for 3 years. Part of my flight to Jeddah was that what I had learnt I could NOT live by, and flight was needed! Here I came thinking I would find the best possible of all the world!! What did i find? Some good, some compassion, some love but also racism from muslim to muslim, importance of skin colour, one above the other, cultural baggage left, right, and centre!Not that different from anywhere else!
Back to where we grew up and back to the life of a modern muslimah. Riba? What's that? Haraam? Why? Social system in Islam? Economic system in Islam?Who? What? When? Where?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A VERY SLOW AWAKENING!!! alhumdulilla!! Life is not about getting knowledge of this world, knowledge by subject, Islam is not madressa hour on Friday afternoon, Islam is not learn the Quran and Salah and you are free! Islam is not live now, just one chance! Not material success and not academic success. Islam is so much more! Islam is a lifestyle, day in, day out, breathe in, breathe out, inshaAllah. That is the reason for Home Educaitng!Wanting my children NOT to go down the one route I went, wanting better for them in knowledge of Deen, better for them in self concepts,better for them in understanding of today's world and wanting better for then in dealing with today's world....... Wanting for them to learn their COMPLETE Deen, and wanting for them to be Complete individuals! Home education can help us make Islam a daily, hourly thing and that's why, the basic reason, why I want to home educate!
Back to where we grew up and back to the life of a modern muslimah. Riba? What's that? Haraam? Why? Social system in Islam? Economic system in Islam?Who? What? When? Where?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A VERY SLOW AWAKENING!!! alhumdulilla!! Life is not about getting knowledge of this world, knowledge by subject, Islam is not madressa hour on Friday afternoon, Islam is not learn the Quran and Salah and you are free! Islam is not live now, just one chance! Not material success and not academic success. Islam is so much more! Islam is a lifestyle, day in, day out, breathe in, breathe out, inshaAllah. That is the reason for Home Educaitng!Wanting my children NOT to go down the one route I went, wanting better for them in knowledge of Deen, better for them in self concepts,better for them in understanding of today's world and wanting better for then in dealing with today's world....... Wanting for them to learn their COMPLETE Deen, and wanting for them to be Complete individuals! Home education can help us make Islam a daily, hourly thing and that's why, the basic reason, why I want to home educate!
May Allah SWT guide all believers to the siratum mustakeen, ameen.
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Where are we now?
Currently Home Ed. seems to have come to an end for eldest as he was accepted at College to follow a Graphics Design course this September,though in reality HE continues! eg. he still joined 11 year old for a visit to a Drawing workshop and did in fact use it as part of his next project at College.
Younger children have never been to school - they are currently 11 and 9, (well to be accurate 9 year old did try school - he chose to come out again after 5 days!) and we follow a mix and match effort with them too - some bits are their choices, some bits stem off suggestions from me or someone we know, and basics on the Religion front are guided by me though they can negotiate when, where and how. It's a mix, and sometimes it's a mess, but it works!
Final comment for Home Education? TRY IT!
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